There is an old cliche under your Monet, baby
by doctorwholove
Summary: AH/AU. Bella Swan was the girl who went by, unnoticed. Edward Cullen was the boy who walked into a room and all eyes went to him. Intrigued by one another they began to realize that everyone, in their own little way, is always noticed by someone.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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Chapter numero uno (BPOV)

_Whoops, I'm sorry, I didn't'see you. _

_Oh my goodness! I didn't even see you there! I'm really sorry! _

_How long have you been standing there? I didn't even see you walk up! _

_Woah there, I didn't mean to sit on you, sorry._

It always came out like that, somehow. The person was 'sorry' and would say something about not even seeing me. But I had always been there.

I was used to people running in to me, sitting on me, skipping me when they passed out something, I was used to it all. It was like I had Harry Potter's invisibility cloak around me at all times.

I didn't speak much. I walked quietly. I kept to myself. So maybe that's why no one ever noticed me, or so I told myself. But I knew in the back of my mind they didn't notice me because they just didn't care.

Isn't that a little worrisome? No one caring?

Being quiet and attentive as I was, I heard things. Gossip, secrets, and all the stuff in between. I heard Lauren Mallory tell Jessica she slept with a married man. I heard Angela tell another girl she had a crush on Ben Cheney.

But sometimes, I heard things I'd rather not. Sometimes I heard things abou_t me. _

_I heard she can't even speak. _

_I heard she's a witch. That's how no one notices her when they walk into a room. _

_I bet she's a freak in the sack. _

And that one was my personal favorite. All of them were lies, but the latter just made me giggle. I'd never even kissed boy, let alone had sex with one.

But there was one person who I never heard the end of.

Edward Cullen.

Edward was not popular by any means. He was just the resident mysterious boy. But he was _gorgeous._ Drop dead, gorgeous. Word on the street is, girls like that more than the yuppies they used to date. Which makes Edward the most envied guy around here, so naturally, also the most gossiped about.

Edward showed up about six months ago from b-f-n (bum fuck nowhere), Alaska. No, that really wasn't the town's name, but I can't remember the actual name right now. His sister was immediately invited into the in-crowd, with the Hale twins and Emmett McCarty. Edward just kind of stayed to himself. Sitting with them at lunch, but not socializing with them.

Everyone skipped over him at the beginning, shrugging their shoulders at the new kid. That is until the rumors started flying around. And no one really knows how they got started.

I was sitting in English on a Monday morning, just waiting for the bell to ring. When I heard the first rumor.

"…he got into a bar fight! Jessica saw him!" I just had to roll my eyes at the stupidity of my generation. Was there no hope? I shook my head looking over at the window and saw Edward Cullen walking to class.

He looked awful. He had a huge black eye and looked as if he was limping. I looked back at the dumb girl wondering if there was just a little bit of truth in her words.

But a part of me suspected Edward wasn't into drinking. A part of me suspected we had it all wrong. Though that could just be me not jumping to conclusions. It seems I was the only one around here that knew how to keep my nose out of other people's business.

But that was about a month ago and since then the rumor mill had been busy spurring out new headlines. It had ranged from Edward being a drug cartel (though he was not Hispanic) to Edward being on the run from homeland security.

The rumors did not shock me, it was the fact that people were so ignorant they believed anything anyone told them. It was unnerving. I just wanted to yell at them for judging him. I wanted to scream it in their face they were wrong. That they knew _nothing_ about him. I wanted to stand up for Edward Cullen.

And that made just a little nervous. I usually ignored the other rumors about people, so why didn't I do that now? I had a sense it was because all the other rumors were true. Lauren Mallory was a slut and Angela made goo goo eyes at Ben all the time.

But what if the rumors were true? What if I was the one jumping to the conclusion that Edward was a good person?

I valued truth. I appreciated truth. Because when everything got confusing, when no one knew what to do, or who to believe they looked for truth in the matter. It seems people these days look for whatever makes it interesting instead of what's right.

I wore a ring on my left hand, ring finger. I was not married nor engaged but the ring had some symbolism to it. The ring said triple dare. It was given to me by mother before she got sick. She told me to live my life like it was a triple dare. And so far, I had been failing.

I wasn't quiet before my mom got sick. I wasn't nervous before my mom got sick. I was normal. I yearned for the past and pushed away the future. I just wanted to go back to the times before I secluded myself.

Once I even tried to be outgoing. It was around ninth grade about a year after my mom died and I kept telling myself it was time to move on and grow up. My mom would have wanted me to be happy.

Anyways, it was at lunch when I saw a group of girls laughing and having a good time. I had this deep urge to go have fun with them, so before I knew it I found myself walking towards their table. Adrenaline guiding my feet forward, even though my mind screamed to retreat.

When I finally reached their table, they all looked up. I stood their for a moment before I said, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

They all looked at each other reading each other's eyes it seemed. They looked back at me without a word spoken between them. Without permission I sat down at there table. And not ten seconds after I sat down, they all stood up and just left.

So yeah, that didn't go over so well. And since then I've kept to myself. Much like Edward Cullen seems to do.

Have you ever just wanted to be someone's friend to find out their story? Just because you thought they were interesting? I wanted to be Edward Cullen's friend just to see what it was that made him tick. And I felt horrible about it.

I was walking to fourth period, which was Trig, a class I breezed through, when _I _ran into someone.

And that was a first.

Since the beginning of time, or so it felt like it, people had ran into me. But here was me, running into someone. I immediately said sorry looking up at the person.

And the God of Fate has a sense of humor.

Edward Cullen looked down at me with something in his eyes I couldn't recognize. Anger? Curiosity? Pity? _Amusement?_ I didn't know.

"It's quite alright," Edward said.

I stood there for a moment, dazzled. His voice was kind and soft. There was no hard edge to it. But what got me most was that when he was done speaking, he smiled a small smile and walked off.

And it was glorious.

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**AN:** So I got this story out kind of far in advance, eh? I wrote this chapter last night and I was anxious to see what people thought of it. Though as I was writing I changed the plot a little, and I still have no idea where this story is going. I usually never plan my stories out. Maybe I should start...But there is a new element in this story, music. I have a feeling it will play a major role in how this story turns out. Anyways, since I'm writing as I go along chapters could be about two weeks apart. Depends on how demanding my summer schedule is.

ANYWAYS...

PLEASE REVIEW :)

clumsyyhouseaddict.


	2. Chapter 2

Days like masquerades, silent, hiding in the shadows, stripped of their disguise leave you haunted as you scatter.  
But you're always on my mind.  
You're always on my mind.

When you feel lost out at sea,  
surrounded by on equal sides the same routine,  
Becoming what you swore you'd never be. Don't distress,  
there's a big bright place if you stay close to me.  
Take a breath, and I'll show you what matters.

You're always on my mind.  
You're always on my mind.

Days like masquerades, take a breath and feel what matters.

Take a breath and feel it.

_**Days like Masquerades by The Academy Is...**_

Chapter numero dos (BPOV)

It had been about a week since I ran into Edward and nothing had changed. He still ignored everyone and I still kept to myself. The little romantic girl in me wished he would suddenly realize I'm amazing and come after me demanding my hand. But thankfully, I always knew the difference between reality and a dream.

I was sitting in my room on a Saturday afternoon, bored. I'd never been bored before. I had a routine for the weekends and usually it kept me content. Friday night was devoted towards homework. But I hadn't had any homework last night, which through off my routine right from the start. Saturdays are meant for reading. But I had no books to read, I'd read them all. Sundays were TV days. I occupied the couch all day Sunday catching up on my DVR and pigging out.

It was routine. And once you stepped out of a routine, it was hard to get back into it.

So here I was on a Saturday, sitting in my room, on my bed, staring at a wall. These were one of the few times I wished I lived in a town bigger than the size of just Manhattan itself. You could fit all of Forks in Manhattan comfortably, and still have room for more people. We had no movie theater, we had no park, we had nothing. We didn't even have a McDonalds. Of course, there was La Push beach about twenty minutes away, but going to the beach alone is just embarrassing.

So I settled for going grocery shopping. We needed food and I'd been putting it off long enough. I walked downstairs knowing my dad wasn't home. He was probably at work, like always. That's all he ever did these days.

The small town grocery store here was pathetic, to say the least. I yearned for a Wal-Mart or a Target. But we don't always get what we want.

The store only housed the basics. No fancy boxed dinner meals. The barely had frozen pizzas.

I stuffed my Ipod headphones into my ears and made my way inside the store. I saw a few students from work checking people out. At least they'd been lucky enough to get a job around here. Jobs were scarce for parents, much less for teenagers.

We only needed the basics: bread, lunch meant, regular meat, chips, ect, ect. I was rounding the cookie aisle when I ran into someone…again.

My subconscious automatically replayed what happened with Edward but when I looked at the person I realized it wasn't Edward. But it was close.

Alice Cullen stood there in all her five foot glory, smiling at me.

"I'm sorry for running into you! I guess I shouldn't take these turns so sharply." Her voice was nothing like Edward's. It was high pitched and airy. She spoke kind of fast, but she enunciated every syllable.

I shook my head. "It's completely my fault! I seem to be running into people a lot." My mind replayed again what happened with Edward.

Alice looked confused for a moment, but then replaced with a questioning look. "I think I've seen you before…"

I nodded my head. "I go to school with you, my name is Bella." My chest began to tingle. This is the most I've ever spoke to anyone since my Mom died. It made me nervous.

"Bella?" She asked, another look coming into her eyes. It was one I did not recognize. "Is there anyone else at our school named Bella?"

I shook my head, "I don't think so."

Alice's eyes immediately brightened. "Well I like it! I'm so glad I've been able to put a face to the name, and I must say what a pretty face it is. I will have to tell of my approval!"

I blushed when she called me pretty, but I was more confused than anything. It's like she was speaking in a completely different language. In fact, she reminded me of the Hobbit, Pippin, from Lord of the Rings. "What?" I asked.

She looked at me. "Did I say all that out loud?"

I nodded, still confused.

"Well crap, he's going to kill me…but he'll never find out. Yeah, he won't ever find out. So don't tell him, okay?"

If I was confused before, I was lost now. "Who's him and what can I not tell him?" I was starting to annoy myself. I always hated when people asked so many questions, especially if I didn't know the answer.

"You don't know?"

I shook my head because I really didn't know.

Now Alice looked a little pissed. She started murmuring and I couldn't make out what she was saying. She looked up at me and said, "Just forget everything I just said." Then her phone rang, she looked at the caller ID and smiled. "I'll see you on Monday, Bella."

But I couldn't forget what she'd said. Not at all. I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out whom the 'him' she was talking about was.

And my mind kept going back to one person. Edward.

As much as that thought gave me butterflies it also gave me a headache. Ever since my mom died I haven't had to worry about other people. I'd always just had myself, and that comforted me. Because _I _couldn't let _me_ down. And now here I was, worrying about people. Actually, I was stressing over people.

If Edward was the 'him' then that means he had noticed me. And maybe since he had noticed me, maybe he liked me. But that was all one big maybe. I just needed to know who this 'him' was. And I had feeling I'd find out Monday.

Speaking of Monday, what had Alice meant by saying she'd 'see me Monday'? Did she mean she was going to come find me and talk to me? Or did she just mean that 'I'll just wave at you on Monday?'

I heaved a sigh of frustration as I cooked and dinner and thought this over for the hundredth time. And it really was the hundredth time. I'd kept track.

I went to sleep that night with something else entirely on my mind.

It was my mom.

Ever since she got sick and died I've tried not to think about her. I've tried to forget she ever existed, but it was hard.

That night I didn't dream, and I was thankful. The last thing I needed was some cryptic dream. I hated those.

Sunday flew by as I sat on the couch pigging and catching up on Glee. I knew everyone loved that TV show, but I didn't really care. I liked it and I always got goose bumps when they performed together. For some reason, it empowered me.

It was Monday before I knew it and I found myself getting ready with a little more care. I took time with my plain brown hair and made sure it framed my face just the right way. I wore a nicer outift than usual and put on a little more make up. I wasn't even with Edward and I found myself changing for him. I was such a _girl. _

My morning classes went by smoothly and quickly. I was ignored, I ignored. It was a normal day. But as I was walking to lunch my stomach was full of knots. And not little knots, huge, huge knots. I walked in the cafeteria and made myself not look at Edward's table.

I paid for my food and walked toward my regular table. If Alice wanted to speak to me, she could come and get me.

And that she did. Just as I was about to sit down I felt someone tug at my elbow. "Over here," It was not a question but a command.

I kept my eyes on my food as we walked over there. I didn't have the confidence to look at Edward just yet. When we got to their table I looked around. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper Hale looked at me with confused eyes but happy smiles.

"Everyone this is Bella." Alice said motioning to me. I waved back, shy.

"_The _Bella?" Emmett asked with raised eyebrows. Alice nodded at him and once again I was confused.

Alice lead me to a chair next to her and I noticed there was one empty seat in front of me. And it just now hit me Edward wasn't here.

But I didn't ask where he was because his friends didn't need to know of my obsession.

I started eating and the conversation started. Emmett and Jasper were a comical duo and I found myself easily slipping into their group. The couples soon slipped into their own conversation and I was left to my own devices. I looked up just as Edward got to the table, evidently not seeing me. And once he did, he looked mad.

He shot a furious look at Alice, whom had now noticed him. Something passed between them and I couldn't read it.

But before Alice could say anything, Edward swiftly turned around and walked away.

I looked down, my feelings hurt. What had I done?

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**AN:** Two chapters in two days! A record, perhaps? Right now this story is extremely easy to write. All the words just seem to flow out. But out of experience the longer I write one story, the harder it is for me. Every chapter will have a snippet of a song at the beginning that _I_ think represents that chapter. So maybe you all can discover some new music ;) Another chapter should be out on Tuesday, I believe. But hey I said it would take two weeks to get this one out, and I was wrong about that!

PLEASE REVIEW :)

clumsyyhouseaddict.


	3. Chapter 3

And do you ever feel like you're alone?

And do you ever wish you'd be uknown?

I could say that I have, I could say that I have.

And do you ever feel things here aren't right?

And do you ever feel the time slip by?

I can say that I have, I can say I have.

So hear this please and watch as your heart speeds up endlessly.

And look for the stars as the sun goes down.

Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound.

Everything, everything is magic.

_**Everything's Magic by Angels and Airwaves**_

Chapter numero tres (BPOV)

It was quiet for a moment. Everyone still surprised at Edward's very quiet, but very effective little outburst.

"Bella, I'm-" Alice began to say in a whisper. I held up my hand to stop her. I was trying so very hard _not_ to cry. It's been so long since I have cried, so why should I give in now? I stood up after a moment, picked up myself, bid my goodbyes to everyone else and left. And I didn't look back at them.

I walked swiftly to the girls restroom. When I got in there I slammed the door shut and just stood there for a moment. I was just so…tired. I missed the way things once were. When I kept to myself, when I didn't have any problems. When I was content. It's not our wants or desires that hurt us, it's our urges to pursue them. It's what we do to get them. And my silly little urge to get to know Edward better had hurt me.

And then I realized all this had started when I'd broken out of my routine. And no, not my weekend routine, but the routine in which I handled my life. When I had allowed myself to notice someone.

I walked over to the mirror. I looked up at my face and sighed. My eyes were red, and kind of pudgy. It looked like I had been crying and like I had been punched in the eyes.

Lovely.

I turned on the faucet, waiting for the water to heat up. I cupped my hand under the running water and splashed a little into my face. I reveled in the heat of the water.

After I cleaned my face up and I left the bathroom. Lunch had not ended yet, we had an hour lunch, but I still walked towards my fifth period class. There was no way I was going back into the cafeteria.

I was almost to my class when I heard them.

"Edward you are such a fucking jerk! Do you not have any manners?" Alice was yelling. Little tiny, Alice, yelling. If they weren't talking about what had just happened, I'd probably would've been laughing at the sight of it all.

"Alice," Edward's voice was harsh and edgy. "You should not have done that. Especially without at least giving me some kind of warning." He paused for a moment, running his hand through his hair. "You know what? Forget it. It's my fault anyways for telling you. You can't even keep your own fucking secrets, much less anyone else's."

I can only imagine how that hurt Alice. The comment wasn't even directed towards me, and I still flinched from the harshness of it. I stayed hidden behind a corner and listened.

"I was only trying to help you," Alice's voice was bitter and threatening. "But you're so full of yourself you didn't even consider that was me being _nice_. I didn't do it to hurt you. I did it to help you. And the sooner you realize people help people the sooner you'll find someone that truly cares for you." She paused for a moment. "It's fine if you're mad, whatever, you're mad every day. But don't take it out on Bella. She's never done anything to you. I'm pretty sure I saw her crying just a little bit after your little fit. Haven't you heard what people have said about her?"

_Haven't you heard what people have said about her? _

It was like a slap in the face. I knew people talked about me, but when Alice said that it was like in a completely different context. It was like I was a charity case to her.

"Don't believe everything you hear, Alice." Edward muttered before I heard his footsteps walking away.

It took me a minute to realize he was coming this way but I didn't really care to move. I was just standing there. Staring at nothing, really..

He rounded the corner and stopped when he saw me standing there. I just looked at him. His eyes had dark circles under them and his face was so pale. He opened his mouth as if to say something but he didn't. His eyes showed his apology but his mouth didn't speak it. He ran his hand through his hair one more time before he just walked away.

I just stood there for a moment. I was now more confused than ever after what I'd just heard.

Did Edward hate me that much he needed a warning? But if he hated me, why had he stopped? I was honestly sick of this shit Edward was causing…or was it me too? Well I was sick of the shit _both_ of us were causing.

So I decided to go back to the way things were. Ignore everyone. Especially a boy with bronze hair and a bad attitude.

For the rest of the day I made good on my promise. I sometimes saw Alice on my way to sixth period and I had a feeling she would come find me today. But when I did see her, I walked right past her. I felt like a complete bitch but I really didn't care anymore.

It was the walk to my last class that I was really concerned about. Edward and I always crossed paths. Everyday we would walk beside each other, each going in the opposite direction. What would it be like today?

I kept my eyes down as I walked. I didn't look up either. I let out a relieved sigh when I got to class. Now the day would be like a walk in a park.

I was walking to my car after school when I saw someone was standing by my car. I wasn't worried about it until I saw the hair.

My day was now not like a walk in a nice, safe park. It was like a walk in Central Park. Horrible.

What do I say to him? I didn't really have anything to say him. But I couldn't ignore him now. He'd made sure of that.

When I got up to my truck I stood there for a moment, staring at my shoes. Finally I mustered up some courage and said excuse me and went to get into my truck. But Edward didn't move.

"What did you hear?" He asked, not looking at me, but at everyone else.

"Enough," my voice came out a little more harsh than I intended.

He looked at me then. He had green eyes. I'd never noticed that before but now I as I looked at Edward I saw a lot of things I didn't notice before. He had naturally pale skin, and his nose was very nice. Not to big and not to small. But his eyes were the best part. It was like looking at a jewel.

"I'm not angry with you," he said simply.

"And you shouldn't be. I've never met you before. You probably didn't even know my name until Alice told you." I put my hands on my hips which was something I did when I was agitated.

His eyes narrowed just a little bit and his mouth went into a thin line. Now he looked a little mad. "I knew your name." That's all he said before he walked away.

I rolled my eyes and got into my truck. I hate boys.

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**AN: **So it's a day late and a buck short. Sorry! But I still got it out before Monday! What do you guys think of the song? :)

Okay so there are about one hundred people who have this story on some kind of alert and I would just REALLY, REALLY appreciate if you could take just one moment and write a review...please? :)

PLEASE REVIEW! :)

doctorwholove.


	4. Edward, my dear, Edward

How I wish you could see the potential,

the potential of you and me.

It's like a book elegantly bound,

but in a language that you can't read...just yet.

You gotta spend some time, love

You gotta spend some time with me,

and I know that you will find love.

I will possess your heart.

_**I Will Posses Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie**_

Chapter Numero Cuatro (EPOV)

Another small, mind-numbing town. Where everyone knows everyone else's business. Where you couldn't do one thing without the whole town knowing.

My home.

I'd always lived in small towns. My father, Carlisle, was a country doctor. He was brilliant enough to be more but he loved knowing his patients names by heart. He loved knowing all their stories and all their troubles. Carlisle just loved people. It was one thing we didn't share.

Now, I don't hate people. Not at all. I just sometimes wish they'd go away. They being the ones who gossip. They being the ones who are judgmental. They being the ones who just irk me.

But I had a promise from Carlisle that this town would be better. And a promise is a promise.

I hate promises. It's a weak word with a weak meaning. I mean, who keeps them anymore? Besides children, of course.

But that's not really why I agreed to move. Anonymity. That was the siren that was calling me to the new town.

I'd gotten in some trouble here and I just wanted to start over. I was over my stupid teenager phase and I was ready to grow up. To go to college and to start my life. But everyone here only remembers me from what I did, that's how the judged me. So to get my fresh start, I agreed to move.

When I first saw the welcome sign when driving into Forks, I sighed. Why must all small towns have such ridiculous names?

A week after moving in, we started school. The school here had three hundred and fifty seven students- now fifty nine with My sister and me. My old school barely reached three hundred. I was a small fish in a big pond here.

Everyone seemed to ignore me. Which suited me just fine. But my sister Alice, who has never been ignored a day in her life, had a radar for detecting the 'its' and the 'isn't's. I stuck with Alice for lack of a better choice.

I was walking to class one day when my eye caught sight of a girl with brown hair, walking alone. And this wasn't the first time I'd seen her. Whenever I did see her she always seemed to be alone. She wasn't ugly, far from it actually, so why was she always alone?

It had to be by choice. She just had that look on her face that politely said 'don't approach me'. It was if people didn't notice her. It was like she was a ghost.

Before I knew it six months had gone by and nothing had changed. I still hung out with Alice and her friends and I still noticed the girl. Who still, was always alone.

A part of me wanted to go up to her, to introduce myself. She was actually quite interesting. I would be sitting at lunch, bored with the people around me, and I would find her in the crowd. She was alone but she always had a book. She'd have a new one every couple of days or so. Today she was reading _Wicked_. And she looked as if she was enjoying it. I would catch her giggle and shake her head at some parts, and it just amazed me how she could get so lost she didn't notice me starting at her or anything else. I didn't try t hide my curiosity. Or so I thought.

This is girl was extremely unobservant. I would blatantly be staring at her in the hallways as I passed and she would look on, not seeing me. But I wasn't the only one staring at her. I'd noticed this boy named Mike Newton stare at her quiet a few times.

At first I told myself it wasn't jealousy I was feeling when I would notice him staring at her, it was I just had a tummy ache. But you can only lie to yourself for so long. And before long I realized I had a small crush on her.

Like really, really small. Bacteria sized crush.

And the sad thing was, I didn't know her name. I tried paying attention to other people's conversations to see if they said anything about her.

….but no one did. I didn't hear one word about her. Nothing.

So I did some research. In the school's sad excuse for a library. There I found old yearbooks. I flipped through the year before until I found her. She hadn't changed much. Her hair was the same and her face still had that expression she carried so greatly.

Isabella Swan was her name.

I said it out loud once and laughed. I was such a creeper. But I had this deep, deep hope she would realize one day, that I watched her. Because I was to much of a chicken to go up and speak to her. I knew that much already. I'd tried to talk to her once, but I ran away before she even saw me.

Yes, pathetic I am.

It was about three weeks after I found her picture in the yearbook that I heard my first rumor about Isabella Swan.

Tyler Crowley was talking to some girl whose name I did not know. She had big, poofy hair though.

"So my Dad was talking to my Mom about Bella buying a whole bunch of candles yesterday."

The girl didn't look that interested, in fact, I've seen more interest on someone's face when watching the Home Shopping Network. "Tyler, what does it matter what Swan buys? She's a freak anyways."

I shifted in my seat a little when she said this. I had this urge to yell at her for calling Isabella-er, Bella, a freak.

Tyler leaned into her closer as if what he was about to was top secret. "It just gives us proof that she is a witch. Witches need candles to perform séances and other witchy activities."

Jessica rolled her eyes at him. "Tyler, you're such a waste of space."

I have to admit, I laughed when she said that. But only because it's true.

So people thought Bella Swan was a witch. I've heard stupider things. Which were about me.

You see, I sort of lost my beloved anonymity about a month ago. I did something stupid and kind of embarrassing. No, it wasn't kind of embarrassing. It was _really_ embarrassing.

I was in Port Angeles one weekend looking for a decent music store. I really didn't want to go all the way up to Seattle for just one CD. But I somehow knew, that was going to be how it went. I was walking out of the CD store when I saw that there was a pier at the end of the street. I checked my watch. I still had three hours before curfew.

So I walked to the pier and looked out at the ocean, wishing I was somewhere warm so I could learn to how surf. Because, well, guys who surf are kind of bad-ass. Anyways, I was standing there for about five minutes when I heard this horrible squawking noise. It sounded like a dying cat.

I looked to see where the noise was coming from and saw that goose was standing there about five feet away from me, and it looked _pissed._ I looked down and saw that I was standing near it's nest. I then realized I was in one those 'wrong place at the wrong time' situations. I tried to slowly and slyly walk away from the scene, with every step I took the goose squawked louder and louder.

I decided that the best course of action was just to break out into a sprint towards my car. Surprising the goose. So as I started running the goose flew towards me and knocked me down.

I kind of just laid there a moment to shocked to move before I realized the goose beating the shit out of me. I pushed and he punched, I pushed and he punched, and finally I got him off of me. I ran away, quickly and I felt like such a wuss doing so.

When I got to my car I got in and locked the doors. I sat there for a moment letting what just happened sink in.

"I just got attacked by a goose," I said out loud, my voice surprised.

So that night I drove home in a daze. I was pretty sure I'd never forget that night. But it became real awkward when I got home, and Alice saw the bruises.

She dropped her cupped and ran up to me. "EDWARD! What happened? Did you get into a fight again? DAD!"

I held up my hands in front me, "I'm fine, Alice. I just got attacked."

"By what? A Russian mobster? You look horrible!"

I scoffed, "Oh, thanks Alice. I love you too." I paused for moment wondering if I should really tell her what happened. "I got attacked by a goose in Port Angeles."

There was that moment of silence. You know the one where it's so quiet you could hear a pen drop.

That was until all I could hear was Alice's laughter. "You-you got attacked by a goose? A bird? You a _grown_ man got attacked by a _bird_?"

"Hey! The bird surprised me and it was huge!" I said defending myself, but I knew she right. It was pathetic.

"Wait until I tell Emmett and Jasper," She said still laughing.

My eyes narrowed. "If you tell anyone I'll set your closet on fire." My voice was dangerously low and I never broke gaze with Alice just to show her that this was a serious matter.

She stopped laughing immediately and she just looked at me, a shaken look on her face. "You wouldn't," was all she said.

I smirked, "Oh I would."

She nodded her head and swiftly turned around walking towards her room. I watched her go and as soon as she was out of sight. I went straight towards my bathroom and looked in the bathroom mirror, and sighed. What a great night.

That was about a month ago and when I came to school the next Monday the rumor mill had started business. I heard things like:

_Did you hear that new kid Edward killed a man? _

_I heard he got into a fight with a mob boss. Apparently the other guy needs a new kidney because of Edward. _

High school will never cease to amaze me. The ignorant people it houses is astounding, but I was just thankful I never once heard the word goose come out of their mouths.

But I was worried about one thing…what does Bella think of me now?

* * *

**AN:** So how do you like the look into Edward's mind? I don't think there will be another, but I felt this was needed. To kind of clear somethings up. So the rumor Edward heard was NOT about Bella's mom, just wanted to make that clear. So he still has no idea why she is always alone. Anyyyyways, I've had like five people ask me if I write the chapter based upon the song I put up at the top. And the answer is no, I do not. I write the chapter and then I go through my itunes account looking at the songs and picking the one I think is best. So the next chapter probably won't be out until Saturday. I gots a busy week ahead!

PLEASE REVIEW :)

doctorwholove. (I'm so anxious for this Saturday's episode! What happens to Amy?)


	5. Chapter 5

**So, I look in your direction **

**But you pay me no attention, do you? **

**I know you don't listen to me **

**'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you? **

**And on and on **

**from the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep **

**I'll be there by your side, just you try and stop me. **

**I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care. **

**Ohhh, did you want me to change? **

**Well I changed for good. **

**I want you to know that you'll always get your way. **

**I wanted to to say...**

**Don't you shiver. **

**_Shiver by Coldplay_**

Chapter numero cinco (BPOV)

I was still ignoring Alice. She had tried to approach me numerous times but I just walked away. I sensed some little birdie told her I'd heard her conversation with Edward.

I was back in my old routine, but something had changed. Before I paid attention to what people said, but now I paid attention to them personally. Before my vision was clouded, not my hearing. But now, every time someone fidgeted in their seat in class or spoke in the hallways, I was acutely aware.

That also meant I was aware of the stares. From everyone. Teachers, students, the lunch ladies. I never realized how obvious they all were.

Especially Edward's.

He made no attempt to hide them. Blatantly staring at me across the lunchroom like he was trying to figure me out. I thought about flipping him off once, but I knew deep down I didn't have the guts to do it. Plus he really didn't deserve it. I just wanted him to think of me as a bad-ass. Which was lame of me.

Sometimes I wished he would just suddenly get up from his own lunch table and walk over towards mine. He would sit down across from me and he would smile at me. I would blush, of course, and he would make some romantic remark. And then we would live happily ever after.

But that was just a fantasy, one I knew was a long shot.

It was a Friday and I was leaving my last class and walking towards my truck. Edward was ahead of me in his own little world. I was staring at him, longingly, when I saw him drop something out of his pocket. I thought about getting his attention, but he was already far ahead of me. So I picked up the piece of paper and I shoved it in my pocket. I looked around suspiciously hoping no one saw me being a total creeper.

I walked quickly to my truck. I decided that I wouldn't look at the note until I was in the safe confines of my truck.

When I was in my truck I pulled out the note and I just looked at it. It was folded a few times and it was thick paper. The same kind of a paper an artist would use to sketch on.

I tried opening the note several times but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt as if I was invading Edward's most private thoughts. And I wasn't one to go snooping where I was not invited.

I sighed, frustrated that I held a piece of Edward, that probably was dear to him, and I didn't have the guts to open it. I threw the note into my bag and started my truck. When I checked my mirrors I caught a glimpse of Edward at his car. He was checking his pockets for something. I raised my eyebrows. I'd bet twenty bucks I know exactly what he is looking for. I looked at his face and saw that it held no worry or panic, but just sadness. Like he would missed what he had lost.

I left school without looking at Edward again. I still felt guilty for keeping it from him. I knew I would be tempted to open it all weekend.

This was going to be a long weekend.

When I walked into my house I called out my dad's name, knowing he wasn't there. I walked into the kitchen and sifted through the fridge hoping to find something edible. I shut the door without finding anything and a note on the kitchen table caught my eye.

_Bella, _

_I'm sorry but I won't be home at all this weekend. The police chief in Olympia asked me to come down and help with something. I left you money in our secret hiding spot. It's one hundred dollars so you should be good all weekend. Take care and be safe. _

_Dad. _

That was my dad. Short and sweet. He felt no need to add extra details. Only what was necessary.

I plopped down on a chair in the kitchen. A whole weekend to myself. Just what I _didn't_ need. I was always by myself, but at home, at least my dad was here.

I sat there for a while just staring at the floor. While I was alone I had the deepest urge to go out and buy a puppy. Yes, it was irresponsible for me to get a dog because it probably wouldn't last a week. I wasn't really good with pets. But I just wanted the companionship.

I finally got up and went up to my room, deciding I was to tired to eat tonight. I crawled into bed, shut my eyes and drifted.

Saturday morning I awoke with no voice and throat that burned every time I breathed. I didn't usually get sick so I was surprised that I was so sick now.

I went downstairs and took some medicine. It was horrible. I forgot how much I hated taking cold medicine. It tasted like death.

Even though I was sick I knew I didn't want to sit at home today, so as I was trying to eat my breakfast I thought about what there was to do. I could always go to the beach but it was kind of boring by yourself. Charlie had left me more than enough money for food for the weekend so I could always spend some of that in Port Angeles.

I decided I would spend the day at Port Angeles roaming around town. A day out of Forks seemed to be what I needed.

The drive to Port Angeles went slowly. I don't even really remember it. I just remember turning on the radio and getting here.

It was the off season for tourism so the town was dead. I went into some stores not really knowing what I was looking for.

And then I saw the bookstore.

A huge smile immediately crossed my face as I walked into the store. I inhaled, reveling in the scent. I was such a nerd, but I didn't really give a shit who thought so.

The store was very quant, very small. Sometimes I wished this town had a Barnes and Noble or a Borders but mostly I just loved the feel of a small bookstore. It made me feel at home.

I was in the store for over three hours. Time flew. I left the store with about seven books and ten dollars left. Just enough for me to get some cheap fast food and head home.

I was rounding a corner street when I ran into someone dropping everything in my hand.

"Shit," I muttered reaching down to pick up my things.

"I didn't know you cussed, Bella." The voice made me drop everything once again.

I looked up to see Edward Cullen smirking at me from behind his sunglasses. I glanced at him and he looked….stylish. He was wearing light faded jeans, with chucks and t-shirt with a design I didn't recognize on it. His sunglasses looked as if they were Ray Bans, but I, not being a fashionista, wasn't really sure.

I looked up at him again and saw that his face was still waiting for me to reply so I just shrugged standing up and walking towards my truck.

"What are you doing here?" He asked following me.

I tried to speak but all that came out was this gross sound. So I still didn't have my voice. So I pointed to my throat and Edward nodded understanding.

"How about you come have lunch with me?"

I looked up at him, surprised he was offering. I tried to get a read on his face but his sunglasses made that impossible.

I pulled out my phone and typed a message. I handed it to him.

_I wouldn't be much fun seeing as how I can't even speak._

He shrugged. "It's not like you talk to me when you had your voice anyways."

I narrowed my eyes and snatched my phone away from his hand. I started walking away. I felt Edward put his hand on my shoulder and turn me around. I tried resisting but Edward was pretty strong.

"Listen Bella, I'm sorry I said that. It was inappropriate. I'm sure you have very good reasons not to talk to me." Edward took his sunglasses off and his eyes really did seems apologetic.

So, I relented.

I held out my hand in a _lead the way_ fashion and we began walking. It was quiet, and I figured that even if I did have my voice it still would have been quiet. He led me to this restaurant that looked alright from outside. I grabbed his arm before we went in and I typed a message and handed it to him.

_Is this place expensive? I only have like ten dollars left. _

Edward shook his head. "It's on me."

Now I shook my head. There was no way I was going to let him pay for my food. No way.

"Please Bella? Let me make up for the rude comment."

Just then my stomach growled. And Edward raised his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes and walked in.

Here we go.

* * *

**AN: **So...sorry this was so late! Work, Marching Band, Summer homework. They all kept me super busy. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

PLEASE REVIEW :)

doctorwholove.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I'd better rest my eyes 'cause I'm growing weary of **_

_**This point you've been trying to make **_

_**So rather than imply why don't you just verbalize**_

_**All the things that you're trying to say**_

_**Thought things would turn out so well **_

_**But I'm beginning to see that instead it's trouble**_

_**into a patter we fell of prolonging the inevitable**_

**_Why don't you just come right out and say it? _**

**Come Right Out and Say it by _Relient K_**

Chapter numero sies (is that Spanish for six…? "Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish!" Heh.. On with the chapter!)

I was nervous, very nervous. I kept fidgeting with my jacket, my hair, my bags, anything that was around. I probably looked like a crackhead to everyone around me.

I glanced over at Edward and he had his eyebrows raised. So he noticed how nervous I was. I really hope it didn't inflate his ego.

As I glanced around the restaurant I saw almost every girl's eye on him. And for some reason, I became territorial. I mean it's not like Edward was mine, but they didn't know that. They could at least have some respect. But they were girls after all, what else could you expect?

The hostess led us to a table on the side and said our waiter would be right with us. _Good._The last thing we needed was a waitress to openly stare at Edward. Every other girl here was already doing that.

The waiter arrived and took our orders. Edward seemed to really dislike this waiter because I could just tell by his voice he was irked.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked after the waiter left.

I typed a quick a message on my phone. _How do you stand it? All the girls staring at you like a piece of meat? _

I handed him the phone and he laughed. "I really don't notice it." He looked around the restaurant and almost every girl's head quickly turned away, embarrassed to have been caught.

He handed me back the phone and typed another message. _It would drive me insane._

He read my message and an expression washed across his face that I couldn't recognize. "Want me to tell the waiter to stop staring then?"

My face must have looked puzzled because Edward went on. "You didn't notice when he took our orders?" I shook my head. "Just watch when he brings out our drinks."

I nodded slowly not sure what the point of all this was.

We didn't have to wait long. I slyly paid attention to the waiter and saw that he was staring at me. Did I have a snot bubble on my face? Was my shirt on backwards?

Since I couldn't speak I just pointed out what I wanted to Edward and tried to not look at the waiter.

When the waiter walked away I looked at Edward who had a smug smile on his face and eyes that just gleamed 'I told you so.'

I shrugged my shoulders trying to play it off but deep down I secretly wished Edward would be bothered by it. I wanted him to be jealous. Because if he was jealous… didn't that mean something?

"How did you get sick?" Edward asked sipping on his water.

I typed a quick message and gave it to him. _I have no idea. I went to bed perfectly fine last night and woke up sounding like I've been smoking for forty years. _

"I think it's fate." Edward said looking straight at me.

My eyes widened in confusion as I stared at Edward. What the hell was he talking about? I moved my hands in a please explain fashion.

Edward did not deter his stare as he spoke. "I think it was fate you getting sick and I think it was fate me seeing you in town today for one reason. So I could explain what has been going on and the reasons for my weird behavior without you interrupting me."

I slowly nodded my head at Edward unsure of what else to do. I felt my heart sink as I realized he only asked me to lunch to clear the air with me, not because he actually enjoyed my company.

We were quiet for a moment. I was just lost in my thoughts about the 'what ifs.' What if Edward liked me? What if Alice and I were still friends? What if I wasn't so shy? What if my mom was still here?

There were to many questions going through my mind. To many questions I didn't have the answers to. But Edward said he invited me here to explain everything, which is always better than not knowing.

I typed a message on my phone and handed it to him. _Pleas explain why you've been rude and malicious to me for no reason at all it seems. _

Edward winced as he read my words. I knew they were harsh but whatever. He shouldn't have been such a prick.

"I'm sure you've heard the rumors. But I'm also sure that you know not to believe the rumors." Edward paused and looked at my face. I nodded to him and he began to speak again. "Before I moved here I lived in a small Alaskan town. Much like this one. Everyone knew everyone's business and so on. We lived there for about three years before I started doing stupid things. Hanging out with the wrong people, breaking curfew, drinking, you know teenager stuff. Like all phases, I got over it and grew up, but everyone in that town had already formed their opinions and wouldn't see past my screw ups. So Carlisle and I decided that the best option was to move. I wanted to move to a big town where I could just blend in and get lost, but Carlisle chose this one. When I got here I was guarded. I was used to people assuming the worst about me so I was ready for the rumors. I kept to myself and only hung around my sister and her friends. Until…until I saw you. It was about a week after I moved here. I'd been oblivious to the people around me so I hadn't really noticed anyone. Until I was walking to my third period and I saw you trip." I blushed like a fool, embarrassed that Edward only noticed me because of my lack of balance. Edward saw my blush and quickly said, "Don't worry, I didn't laugh. I actually wanted to go over and help. But you just had this look on your face. It wasn't mean it just quietly said stay away. I felt as if I was looking into a mirror. So after that day I kept a watch out for you. I'm surprised you didn't notice, I didn't really try to hide it. For some reason I felt drawn to you. Yeah, that sounds creepy but it's true."

Our food arrived then and we ate quietly. I sat there trying to comprehend what Edward had just told me. We hadn't gotten to the stuff that really mattered but after hearing that I felt I understood Edward a little better. That I understood just a little bit more of him.

After I was done eating I typed a message on my phone, _is there anymore? _

Edward nodded. "That's only half of what I need and have to say to would you like to walk around the town or stay here while we talk? It's actually very nice out."

I pointed outside and Edward nodded. He paid the bill and we walked out. I blushed when Edward held the door for me. We started toward the pier and Edward began again.

"So I watched you for a couple of months. I watched how you shied away from contact and I wanted to know why. You just interested me. I even got a little jealous when I caught Mike staring at you too. He's such a creep." I glanced at him hoping he'd know what I was implying. He did. "Yes, I know, but it's just creepy when he was doing it. He was doing it for a completely different reason." My heart fell off the cloud it'd been resting on since we'd started this conversation. This conversation made me think that Edward liked me. But that one little phrase had destroyed all hope. But Edward continued. "Alice noticed something different about me. I just told her I may have been interested in someone at a school." Cue the butterflies in the stomach. "I didn't tell her who because I didn't want her to do anything stupid or rash. Famous last words, right? But I accidently slipped your name out and she found you in a grocery store. I told her to keep out of it but I knew I was just speaking to a wall." Edward stopped and turned to me then. "That Monday that you sat with Alice, I wasn't upset with you. Not at all. I was mad at Alice for putting me into a situation I wasn't ready for. You see, I don't adjust well to change. I have to take everything in at my own pace and Alice just doesn't get that sometime. I had yet to get the nerve to talk to you straight up and you being so close made me nervous. So I ran. And that conversation you heard with Alice…god, that was awful."

Edward paused. I had turned my head to the water because I could feel myself reliving that horribly embarrassing moment. I felt Edward's fingers go under my chin and he gently pulled my face to his.

"I never did believe the rumors I'd heard. Alice didn't either. But after what you heard I felt horrible. I felt as if I'd betrayed you. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry."

I grabbed my phone and typed a message. _You know, I did the same thing to you. Watched you, I mean. You also interested me. And about those rumors… I'll tell you my secrets eventually. I promise. _

Edward read my message and smiled. "You don't ever have to tell me." He reached down and gave me a hug and I melted. He smelled so…fresh. He didn't weart that obnoxious colognes most dudes wore and I loved that.

He pulled away after a moment and smiled down at me. But then after a minute his gaze changed and his eyes darted towards my lips and my heart fluttered. Was he going to kiss me? Please, please, please, please, please, please kiss me.

He leaned in a little before he was suddenly far away from me. My heart sank once again as I realized he probably didn't want to kiss me. My heart was getting a little tired of this rollercoaster it's been on all day.

I looked down at my shoes and fixed my hair. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do.

But then I remembered something. Edward never did tell me how he got that black eye. So I walked over towards him and typed a message.

_How did you get that black eye?_

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Promise you won't laugh?" I nodded slowly, anxious to hear what he had to say. "Well I was down here in Port Angeles looking for a music store when I walked down here to the pier to look at the view. But what I didn't realize is that I had been standing in a goose nest and the mother goose saw. Well she sort of attacked me."

I tried very hard, so very hard not to laugh. I gave it all I could. But one giggle did escape.

Edward rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

I mouthed I'm sorry and Edward nodded a smile slowly forming on his face.

I turned towards the water and looked at the view.

I know something changed, it had to. But the question was… what the hell did just change?

* * *

**AN:** AHHHHHHH. Sorry this took so long! Marching Band got hectic and took over my life! But I like it that way ;) so this chapter should clear up some things and we're just one step closer to the inevitable! I'm not even going to give an estimate on how long the next chapter will take, sorry guys. But it will be before September for sure.

PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW :)

doctorwholove. (how about that doctor who season finale?)


	7. Chapter 7

I can't remember when it was good.

Moments of happiness elude.

Maybe I just misunderstood

all of the love we left behind.

Watching the flash backs intertwine

memories I will never find,

so I'll love whatever you become,

and forget the reckless things we've done.

I think our lives have just begun.

I think our lives have just begun.

and I feel my world crumbling.

Feel my life crumbling.

Feel my soul crumbling away,

and falling away.

**Falling away with you.**

Staying awake to chase a dream.

Tasting the air you're breathing in.

I know I won't forget a thing.

Promise to hold you close and pray.

Watching the fantasies decay.

Nothing will ever stay the same.

**_Falling Away With You by Muse_**

Chapter numero seven. That's the extent of my Spanish. I'm reverting back to English.

We stayed at the pier for about an hour longer just standing there, Edward chatting away and me listening. I found out some pretty interesting things about Edward.

One: He hated, hated milk. Even chocolate milk. But he loved ceral. Dry ceral, of course.

Two: He has never seen Lord of the Rings. That one must change immediately.

Three: He broke his arm when he was five climbing a tree. Well at least we have some balance issues in common.

Before when I thought of talking to Edward my stomach clenched, my heart speeding just by the _thought_. But now that we are actually here, I realized something. I put to much pressure on this whole..situation. I expected Edward to just judge the shit out of me without giving him a chance. When in all reality, Edward and I had way more in common then I thought and I found myself relaxing. I hadn't been this relaxed since before the accident.

But that was something that still made me queasy. How would he react when I told him the one thing that holds me back from so much? Would he shy away like everyone else did? Like my dad did? Or would he just straight up tell me I'm horrible?

I don't know how Edward will react and I won't know until I finally grow some and talk to him about it. When he hears my secrets his will seem infinitely juvenile.

Edward was in the middle of a story of how he accidentally died Alice's hair orange when she was thirteen when I realized how late it really was. Street lights were on, the sun was setting, and while Charlie wasn't home and I didn't have to worry about curfew, I still didn't want to be driving home in the dark. My truck wasn't really all that reliable.

I pulled out my phone and typed Edward a message.

_It's really late and I hate driving enough as it is, so I want to get home before it gets to dark. My truck isn't all that reliable. _

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Edward asked. "We could come up and get it tomorrow."

As much as my heart thumped at the thought of riding home with Edward and then again tomorrow to get my truck, it wasn't the rational choice. I needed some time to myself anyways to collect my feelings.

_Thanks, a lot. But it would be a waste of gas. I should be fine. Thanks though, again. Anyways, despite what I thought when you asked me to lunch I had a real nice time and I'm glad that I got the truth. That's all I ever wanted. _

Edward smiled. "I'm glad you had a nice time and I'm glad to also finally have a friend other than Alice. I see her enough as it is at home."

I laughed. _I'm glad to have a friend also. _

Edward looked me at then, right into my eyes. And it wasn't just a normal look, it was _the _look. The look someone gets when they're searching for something inside a person. The look that make your heart swell (again, for the thousandth time) and your mind go fuzzy. It was my favorite look.

It was windy by the pier and my hair was a mess. Edward reached up and got a piece of my hair between to fingers and placed it behind my ear. His hands were soft. Much to soft to be boy's hands and I found myself blushing and looking down. Surprised by his intimate gesture.

I pointed to my truck and he nodded and we walked towards it. My hand was dangling by my side as I walked. I felt something grab my hand I looked down to see Edward's hand around mine. I looked at him and he glanced at me smiling a smirky smile. Almost as if he was daring me to push his hand away, which I was not at all planning to do.

And so we walked. Hand in hand. To my truck. A smile on my face. The whole time.

The walk didn't take forever like I wanted to. I wasn't sure how we would bid our goodbyes. I was leaving it all up to Edward who seemed to be controlling our physical side tonight.

I turned to him, his hand still grasping mine.

"I guess, I'll see you Monday?"

I nodded, a little dejected. Monday was 24 hours away. I didn't want this new closeness that we had between us to go away. 24 hours is a long time. Long enough to think about what happened tonight and change your mind.

"Do," Edward started, sounding nervous. "Do you think I could have your number?"

I immediately reached my hand out asking for his phone. After everything that just happened he was nervous about asking for my number? I found that remarkably adorable.

He gave me his phone and I typed it in fast and handed it back to him smiling. He smiled back at me.

And here comes the big finale.

Edward leaned in. I thought he was going for lips but he changed his direction and headed for my cheek placing a small kiss there, lingering on my cheek for only a moment. But it was long enough for me to forget how to function properly.

He pulled back and I had a goofy grin on my face.

"Was that okay?" He asked unsure.

I nodded eagerly, a little to eagerly, I might add. Edward chuckled at me and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm going to follow you home just to be sure you make it, okay? I'd hate for you to go away now that we finally have this."

His chivalry made me swoon and I felt like Jane in Pride and Prejudice.

Ever since I was little girl I'd always wanted a boy to sweep me off my feet. To go the whole nine yards and do everything. I was an old fashioned girl. The boy made all the first moves. I assumed long ago I'd never get that boy but now, I'm not so sure.

I nodded into Edward. We were still hugging and it felt great. I felt secure and… desired.

I am now a big, big fan of hugs.

But like all things, the hug had to end. We both pulled away. I waved goodbye to Edward and hopped into my truck.

I sat there for a moment. Just letting the whole night sink in.

What a great day. Probably the best days in a while. The whole drive home I had the stupidest grin on my face. I would glance back at my rearview mirror and see Edward behind me. Always. Never once did I look back and not see him there.

When I pulled up to my house, I got out and walked to my door and unlocked it. I waved towards Edward one final time before I walked in.

I closed the door behind me and just slid down on the floor. Replaying the whole day in my head. It's time like there where I wish I had a repeat button.

I went upstairs threw my junk on my bed and went to do my nightly duties. I found myself humming a very merry tune while I got ready for bed.

It's weird how someone you just met could change your attitude so greatly, in just one day. Almost to surreal.

When I got done, I walked into my room and checked my phone. I figured Charlie would have called but of course he didn't. He was never one for the parental duties. That was more of Renee's style.

Renee.

I still needed to tell Edward. And I would. Monday.

My queasiness came back. Would me telling him alter our new found relationship?

I was just staring at the ceiling, my thoughts going in circles when my phone beeped.

It was a text message. I hadn't had one in so long, I forgot what the noise sounded like.

It was from Edward.

_**Hey, so I just wanted to say again that today was great. And that I hate Sundays. I'll see you Monday. **_

_**Sweet Dreams, Bella. **_

_**Edward. **_

I saved the message. I felt like an obsessed teenage girl. But that's exactly what I was.

I reread the message a few more times before I finally closed my phone and attempted to fall asleep.

I awoke Sunday morning with a smile on my face and the memory of yesterday. I was surprised to find that my voice was back and sounded normal. I guess I had just had a twenty four hour bug.

I spent the day cleaning and finishing up homework. When Charlie got home I fixed fish for dinner and joined him in the living room for the first time in almost two years.

He was surprised when I sat down and he tried to make small talk. I gave standard answers, leaving Edward out of course.

But I wanted to talk to Charlie about something. I wanted to talk about Renee.

The topic of my mother had been taboo in this house for so long I wasn't sure how to bring her up. Do I casually say, "Hey dad, can we talk about my dead mother?"

I think not.

I instead decided to ease into the conversation.

"Dad, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Charlie slowly turned his head towards me. I could see the wheels in his head turning as he tried to figure out what I was going to say. I had a feeling he thought I was going to say I was pregnant.

"It's about mom," I said quickly.

The wheel stopped immediately and his face turned blank. "What about her?" He asked quietly.

How do you ask your dad if he blames you for your mom's death? How?

"Do you," I started but I couldn't finish. I paused for moment, breathing in and out and trying to relax myself. "Do you blame me?"

Charlie looked confused. "Blame you for what?"

"For what happened," I said quietly looking down.

I heard Charlie sigh and I looked up. "Is that what you think, Bella? That I blame you for what happened?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer.

"What happened was an accident. Something neither of us could control. You being there had nothing to do with it. And I do not blame you at all. And I don't want you to ever think that, okay?"

"Okay dad," I said and I went to get up. Charlie surprised me getting up also and walking towards me.

He pulled me into a hug and I just let go. I just cried my heart out to my dad. I mean, if you can't cry in front of your dad, who can you cry in front of?

We sat there for a while, both crying. We pulled away and my dad looked at me.

"I think we both needed that," He said.

"I think so too."

Monday morning I awoke with energy. Much more energy I'd ever had in the mornings. I was excited, nervous, anxious, and happy all at once.

Excited to see Edward. Nervous about what people would say about us. Anxious about telling him my secret. And happy about having someone to confide in.

I took extra time getting ready this morning. I put more thought into my outfit and more time into my hair.

I drove to school as fast as my truck would allow, practically bouncing in my seat. I felt like such a girl, but I really didn't give a shit.

I pulled into the school parking lot and immediately saw Edward's car and a space beside it. But only because Edward was standing in the space.

As soon as he saw me he moved out of the way and I pulled in. He walked to my side of the truck and opened my door for me.

I climbed out.

"Hi." I said smiling at him.

"So she speaks," Edward said smiling at me. "Hi."

We just stood there staring at each other and smiling.

"I'm ready to tell you my secret," I said out of the blue.

"Right now?" Edward asked, confused.

"Well, today or this afternoon. I thought about it yesterday and I think you have a right to know."

"Are you sure?" Edward asked concern in his eyes.

I nodded, positive. "You let me on your secrets and I should do the same."

Edward smiled at me once more and grabbed my hand and led me towards my first class.

Of course people stared at us. I knew that would be an issue. I tried my very best to block it out. I felt Edward squeeze my hand I felt it was him silently telling me he was here, and that made me feel all the more better.

The morning went by quickly and I was grateful for that. Edward met me outside of my last class before lunch and we walked together yet again, hand in hand. And people still stared. I'd yet to hear anyone talk about us and no one had said anything to me either. I hope it lasts.

Edward and I went through the lunch line and I started to walk towards Edward's table. But he tugged on my arm and led me to an empty table quite a bit of ways from his regular one. It was actually my table we were sitting at.

"What are you doing? Don't you want to go sit with your sister?" I asked, confused.

Edward shook his head, sitting down. "I wanted to sit here, with you. All by ourselves." He said smiling at me.

I couldn't help but smile back and sit down with him.

We chatted again through lunch laughing at embarrassing stories and just talking. I never wanted it to end but I knew it had too. So when the lunch bell rang and we were walking towards our separate classes I turned to Edward.

"Do you know where the diner is on Lane Road?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I figured that would be a good place to discuss things."

Realization crossed Edward's face. "Would you like me to meet you there right after school?"

"That would be lovely."

Edward nodded and smiled leaning in again to kiss my cheek. He pulled back and gave him the biggest grin I could.

"I'll see you there." I said breathlessly waving at him as I walked away.

He smiled and waved also and walked away. When I was out of his sight I touched my cheek and closed my eyes.

Maybe Monday's are better than hugs…maybe.

Before I knew it I was pulling into the diner and walking in to wait on Edward.

He had texted me and told me he had to take Alice home and then he'd meet me here, so I had time to get my story straight.

I kept repeating into my head. _You can do it. You can do it. You can do it._

But I wasn't really believing myself. I was getting more nervous by the second and when I saw Edward's car pull up I stilled.

I watched him walk in, eyes looking for me. When he found me he quickly walked over, smiling.

He sat down and I couldn't breathe.

Here goes nothing.

* * *

**AN: **Longest chapter yet... I think? Well it's my favorite. It only took me like an hour to write this! I sat down and words flowed. and maybe they went a little fast.. but whatever. They're not even official yet. just flirty. there's only two chapters left with an epilogue. I'm not one to drag things out. This isn't edited so please excuse the mistakes.

So... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW :)

...please?

doctorwholove. ;)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter numero eight.

I looked up at Edward and he was staring at me. Patiently waiting. Where do I even start? From the beginning is a good place, I guess.

"Two years ago, during my freshman year something happened." I stopped and took a breath. I knew Edward would not hate me for this. I knew it. But I just couldn't believe it. I still held on to that little fear.

"It was an accident. And it took me a long time to realize that. It was a Saturday afternoon. It wasn't even dark out. But it was rainy and wet. My mom and I had gone to the grocery store. I was fifteen then, so I was hellbent on learning how to drive. I just pestered my mom into letting me drive home until she finally relented. I wasn't going fast. I wasn't doing anything dangerous, and yet it still happened. We were driving past a road when someone hit us from the side. They tried to stop but they hydroplaned and lost control. It hit on my mom's side and she died instantly. I, on the other hand, was in a coma for three days. I didn't even remember. My dad had retell me the story."

I couldn't look up at Edward. I couldn't do anything. My eyes were trained on the table.

After a moment of silence I felt someone sit next to me and wrap their arms around me. I realized it was Edward and I leaned in. Inhaling his scent while he just held me. I didn't cry, but I wanted to. I knew if I cried Edward would probably run kicking and screaming.

We sat like that for a while. I felt him place his hand under my chin and moved it so I _had_ to look at him. And he didn't let go.

"You know, I expected you to tell me that you had an embarrassing moment or something. I didn't expect anything like that, and I'm terribly sorry. If I were in your position, I would be in a hole right now wallowing in self-pity. You're much stronger then me."

I smiled at him and nodded, not sure what to say.

"Are you hungry?" Edward asked.

Just when he asked my stomach growled. "I could eat."

And we had a nice, relaxing dinner. We didn't approach the topic again and we didn't need to. It was out there. We both had no more secrets.

After my dinner with Edward, I went home and I thought. I thought about a lot of things. I thought about my mom. I thought about my dad. I thought about what I wanted to do when I left this god forsaken town.

And I realized a lot things.

I didn't have a hand in my mom's death. It took me three years to realize that I didn't cause my mother to lose her life. It was just a freak accident.

I realized that even though my dad and I don't have a normal relationship, I know he's there for me. I know that if I fell down, he'd be right there.

I realized that I cared for Edward. I didn't know how much I cared for him but I knew it was a little more than friends. I didn't know how to tell him. I'd never had to do anything like this before, but I knew that I had to tell him. I'd been living in the shade for so long I'd forgotten what the sun felt like. I wanted to do something for me.

I woke up the next morning feeling very light. I'd gone through a lot of mental blocks last night and now I was just ready to be free. I'd decided last night that I was going to tell Edward today that I liked him more than friends. He hadn't officially said he liked me, but I knew he did. I just wanted to be the one to make it 'official.'

I found myself walking with a little more pep to my step as I got ready. I would catch myself humming and then do a little dance sometimes.

I wish I'd had this epiphany years ago.

When I met up with Edward at school he was sitting in his car, drinking some coffee. I knocked on his window and I must have scared him because he jumped and hit his head on the roof, spilling his coffee on him. I could tell he was pissed, but when he saw that it was me he smiled and got out of the car.

"Thanks for making me look like a fool." He commented.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I like fools."

He smiled and grabbed my hand. I took it as encouragement.

"So I've got a secret."

Edward raised his eyebrows at me. "Another one?"

I shook my head. "This is one I think you want to hear."

I leaned into his ear, where our faces were so close I could feel his hair tickling my cheek.

"I like you," I whispered.

Edward shivered and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into another hug. I smiled and I wrapped my arms around him too.

"You're in luck, I like you too." He said.

I smiled and I went to peck him on the cheek. He pulled back surprised.

"You're very affectionate today," he commented, leading me towards the school.

"I realized some things last night after our talk."

"And they were?"

I stopped and turned to him. "I realized I didn't want to dwell on the things I can't control."

Edward smiled down at me and I smiled back.

We walked hand in hand to class, joking about who was the bigger fool for who.

* * *

Last chapter before the epilogue. Sorry for the no update. Five AP classes and marching band and work kind of took over my life.

PLEASE REVIEW :)

doctorwholove.


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